Fuck it: Let’s predict the Oscars!

Honest to God, tomorrow is one of my favourite days of the year. Put your straight jackets away, I’m being serious! As a self-diagnosed Oscar-obsessive, the ceremony itself is always very sedate and lacking in surprise or suspense of any kind. Even now it’s clear who is going to win a lot of the more publicized categories. But it’s the nominations that provide the last chance for excitement in this crazy spectacle we call a season. Up until tomorrow, your craziest dreams can still live inside your head (A Separation for Best Picture, Margaret for Best Supporting Actress (x2!), The Skin I Live In for Best Original Score etc.) But tomorrow puts plops a giant anvil on our Wile E. Coyote sized dreams. Still, let’s not get too downhearted, as the most fun comes in the prediction!

Haywire

Ewan McGregor and Michael Fassbender are in a bar in Dublin. Obviously it’s not actually them, but their characters in Haywire are so sketchily defined that it doesn’t really bear giving them names. You can instantly tell that Fassbender is Irish because he’s drinking Guinness. McGregor – while adopting a soft American accent – has chosen to forgo his Scottish ancestry for this role by denying himself a good Glenfiddich and engaging with something more palatable to an American audience. They’re meeting to discuss the fate of one Mallory Kane (Gina Carano), the raison d’être of Haywire and most of the characters inhabiting it. The conversation is unremarkable, but the small choices of what drinks to order present a level of characterization not present in the rest of the film. Haywire is tremendous fun when it wants to be, but also super-cereal when it tries to be something that it’s not.

2010-2011 Television CatDoggys: Drama

Outstanding Lead Actor

• Steve Buscemi – Boardwalk Empire
• Gabriel Byrne – In Treatment
• Kyle Chandler – Friday Night Lights
• Jon Hamm – Mad Men
• Donal Logue – Terriers
• Timothy Olyphant – Justified

Despite the fact that most TV is geared towards white males aged 18-49, this was a surprisingly hard category to fill. Separating the wheat from the chaff proved to be a hard endeavour and, like the comedic side of this category, I’d like to probably cap myself at three or four… but I’m a completist, so six it is. Buscemi does his thing as Nucky Thompson, and he’s perfectly fine in his role, but he doesn’t really elevate it to the level that Boardwalk Empire often requires of him. And Donal Logue is nice and shaggy, and occasionally dug down to his dark side in Terriers, but it wasn’t really enough for the gravity of the role. Since the show has been cancelled, I guess we’ll never know how low he could go. The others, on the other hand, are all kinds of brilliant. Byrne manages to make being passive feel like an acting marathon (and given the production schedule of In Treatment, he probably had the hardest job out of all the nominees). Chandler has been doing the same routine for five years now, yet manages to inject so much heart and vitality into Coach Taylor; this is definitely not a case of treading water. And Olyphant nearly stole this category with his wonderful monologues and cool swagger. But there was always going to be one winner: hopefully he’ll repeat this feat on Sunday, but Jon Hamm has been even more of a revelation than usual as Don Draper. Spiralling into a pit of depression and (worse) alcoholism has only brought out Hamm’s thespian skills to the max.

Outstanding Lead Actress

• Connie Britton – Friday Night Lights
• Nina Dobrev – The Vampire Diaries
• Michelle Fairley – Game of Thrones
• Melissa Leo – Treme
• Julianna Margulies – The Good Wife
• Elisabeth Moss – Mad Men

This is a category where I had to do some cheating. Until I watched Game of Thrones, I couldn’t even think about nominating six women, as the state of the television industry leaves leading ladies a lot to be desired. Even after watching it, I had to bump up Michelle Fairley from her submitted Supporting status to Lead because 1) She is clearly a lead in that show, 2) She’s an awesome lead in that show and 3) I just couldn’t see myself to nominate Lena Heady, whose performance is fine but nothing to write home about. The other five nominees are very well deserved, though. I could copy and paste Kyle Chandler’s comments in for Connie Britton, as they compliment each other wonderfully on Friday Night Lights. Nina Dobrev would possibly have sneaked in just for playing Elena, but with her dual role of Katerina in the fray, she cemented her place here with her extraordinary range as an actress. Melissa Leo – who would have won this category hands down if it existed last year – had much less to do this year, but still knocked it out of the park when she needed to be on screen. And Elisabeth Moss will possibly be getting an Emmy tomorrow, and was fighting tooth and nail with Margulies for a CatDoggy. Maybe next year, Peggy. But the aforementioned Margulies has come in leaps and bounds from her icy, rigid performance at the start of The Good Wife‘s first season. She makes us feel hurt when Alicia gets hurt, yet still manages to retain a complex web of emotions and play everything with an icy coolness (temperature-wise, not popularity-wise).

Outstanding Supporting Actor

• Alan Cumming – The Good Wife
• Matt Czuchry – The Good Wife
• Peter Dinklage – Game of Thrones
• Walton Goggins – Justified
• Irrfan Kahn – In Treatment
• Wendell Pierce – Treme

Honourable mentions (in descending order): Dane DeHaan – In Treatment | Steve Zahn – Treme | Josh Charles – The Good Wife | Michael Raymond-James – Terriers

Supporting characters are just a wealth of riches, and that goes for drama as well as comedy. The Good Wife men nominated help to lighten the tone considerably, and each provide a level of bitchiness unexpected to a first-time viewer. While Cumming is possibly going to win the Emmy, Czuchry is performing one of my favourite characters in television in Carey, and deserves a lot more attention than a simple CatDoggy nomination. Peter Dinklage has the flashiest role in Game of Thrones, but manages to pull off Tyrion’s wit with genuine aplomb, even if his accent is a lot to be desired. Irrfan Kahn was the most insular patient on this season’s In Treatment but managed to convey the most about his deeply tortured character than anyone in the show’s history: a fine achievement. And Wendell Pierce is just a cool dude, and finally had some plot to chew into in this season of Treme. But this has to go to Walton Goggins. Boyd Crowther was originally going to be killed off in the first episode of Justified, but he did such a powerhouse performance that the writers decided to keep him around, and he’s blossomed into the best part of that show by a country mile.

Outstanding Supporting Actress

• Khandi Alexander – Treme
• Kim Dickens – Treme
• Margo Martindale – Justified
• Archie Panjabi – The Good Wife
• Amy Ryan – In Treatment
• Kiernan Shipka – Mad Men

Honourable mentions (in descending order): Candice Accola – The Vampire Diaries | Christine Baranksi – The Good Wife | Kelly Macdonald – Boardwalk Empire | Christina Hendricks – Mad Men

Caroline is probably my favourite character in The Vampire Diaries, so it’s a shame not to include her, but the strength of this category was surprisingly high. The Treme ladies (of which Alexander would have won this category in a cake-walk last year) are the heart and soul of that show. Occasionally drafted into David Simon’s moralising, they come out with immense dignity (especially given Alexander’s rape-arc this season). Emmy-incumbent Panjabi only improved this year, making Kalinda even more complicated and interesting. And Ryan proved a wonderful replacement to Dianne Weist as the therapist to the narcissistic and self-absorbed Paul Weston. Margo Martindale and Kiernan Shipka were fighting it out for this CatDoggy, and if there was a category I wish I could split, it would be this one. Martindale acts up a storm as probably one of the best villains of television history; her Mags Bennett is a mess of contradictions and pure evil, played deliciously and for the long-haul, as opposed to a flash-in-the-pan. But Shipka is just revelatory. And she’s just 11-years-old! Sally Draper is going to grow up to be a screwed up child, and Shipka either has immense empathy or immense acting skills or immense sets of both, as she plays Sally with an amazing instinct. Sally’s still a child, yet she knows so much more about the crappy, crappy life she’s going to have in the future, and is already rebelling and fighting for love in such a beautiful, heart-rending manner. Shipka’s going to be a star; mark my words.

Outstanding Series

• Game of Thrones
• Justified
• The Good Wife
• In Treatment
• Mad Men
• Treme

Any of these shows would be wonderful winners, but Mad Men had its best season ever. And that’s saying something. Hopefully the Emmy voters won’t just reward the fine, but occasionally boring, Boardwalk Empire because it’s shiny and new, and go for one of the best shows on television. But… you never know with Emmy voters.

2010-2011 Television CatDoggys: Comedy

Outstanding Leading Actor

• Alec Baldwin – 30 Rock
• Louis C.K. – Louie
• Steve Carrell – The Office
• Johnny Galecki – The Big Bang Theory
• Joel McHale – Community
• Jim Parsons – The Big Bang Theory

When the Emmy nominations were announced, a lot of vitriol was spouted upon this category, mainly for the inclusion of Johnny Galecki and Matt LeBlanc. However, while I understand the vitriol for LeBlanc – Episodes was a terrible show – Galecki’s abuse confuses me. He’s definitely not the best actor in the show, but he’s a perfectly amiable presence and has, if anything, been under-praised for his work as the straight man to the often – especially in this season – manic exploits of Parsons’ character of Sheldon Cooper. Incumbent Emmy winner Parsons nearly didn’t get put on this shortlist for his downright daffy performance at times. Indeed, if I didn’t have to fill this out with six names, I’d only really have put Baldwin, C.K. and McHale on. Carrell will win the Emmy as a lifetime achievement award, but his work in this season’s Office was even more manic than usual. Baldwin is 30 Rock‘s steady presence: the anchor to the craziness inherent in that show. C.K. is the dark horse to watch out for at this year’s Emmys, and his deft minimalist acting – and it’s definitely acting, not just him playing himself – is in perfect union with the show that he acts in, writes, directs and edits. But Joel McHale was always going to win the CatDoggy. He fronts the funniest show on television with such impeccable comic timing, an earthy presence and real gravity.

Outstanding Lead Actress

• Courteney Cox – Cougar Town
• Kaley Cuoco – The Big Bang Theory
• Edie Falco – Nurse Jackie
• Tina Fey – 30 Rock
• Laura Linney – The Big C
• Amy Poehler – Parks and Recreation

Like their male counterparts, about half of this shortlist don’t really deserve to be on here. That there are fewer leading parts in a comedy series is a given – the most entertaining parts are the supporting ones, the ones with the crazy antics and wacky shenanigans and such. Cox is the weakest element of Cougar Town (well, her and Brian Van Holt) but because she’s competent at comedy, she beats out most of the other leading ladies to earn a spot here. Edie Falco and Laura Linney give very good performances, but they’re not in comedies. It’s not even the case with a show like Louie, which is often very dramatic, but a comedy at heart. Nurse Jackie and The Big C just aren’t funny. They are dramas with elements of humour thrown in because that’s what the Showtime network demands of the shows it commissions. Linney’s going to win the Emmy because it’s the newest one and she’s a movie star and voters can’t say no to movie stars (just watch on Sunday when Kate Winslet walks away with the E in her eventual EGOT). Tina Fey is an inspiration to me, and still very funny, but the clear front-runners are Poehler and Cuoco. Poehler is the funniest woman on this list by a country mile. She has transformed Leslie Knope from a Michael Scott-knock-off to a wonderful character in her own right: an insanely positive bureaucrat who just can’t help doing her best, even if it pisses off lots of people around her. But, to me, Cuoco edges her in that she has a MUCH harder job in playing Penny. Penny’s pretty much the audience surrogate in BBT and a fine line needs to be drawn between mockery of the nerds and ignorance of Penny. In the first few seasons, Cuoco’s performance was kinda sneery and she wasn’t a warm presence. Now, she’s the heart of the show. I’d watch a spin-off of her at the Cheesecake Factory. She exhibits such warmth and humanity, and is reeeally funny to boot. Very deserving of a CatDoggy, as the Emmys are probably never going to nominate her.

Outstanding Supporting Actor

• Chris Colfer – Glee
• Donald Glover – Community
• Nolan Gould – Modern Family
• Ed O’Neill – Modern Family
• Chris Pratt – Parks and Recreation
• Danny Pudi – Community

Honourable mentions (in descending order): Nick Offerman – Parks and Recreation | Danny DeVito – It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia | Josh Hopkins – Cougar Town | Mike O’Malley – Glee

I’ve written way too much already, but this was the hardest category to whittle down. I can’t believe I haven’t nominated Ron F’ing Swanson, but this is such a competitive field. Glee has fallen apart this year, and Kurt’s moralizing played a big part of that, but Colfer’s performance, if anything, improved substantially over the second season. I think he’s going to win the Emmy, as well. That Modern Family‘s Luke is not an Emmy nominee is a travesty. He’s easily the funniest cast member and he’s only 11. MADNESS! Ed O’Neill, while clearly the leading man, has the best underplaying deadpan delivery I’ve seen on TV all year. Chris Pratt has the warmth of a teddy bear and the comedic chops of… something very funny. As Nick Offerman gets more of the attention for Parks and Rec, it’s hard to see the work that Pratt does. If this award were for individual episode contribution, Danny Pudi would win in a heartbeat for the “Critical Film Studies” episode of Community. Watch it if you haven’t already, it’s amazing. However, the most consistently funny, well-acted character on TV is Troy Barnes, also from Community. Every time Glover cries in pain, I cry with laughter. He can make the oldest joke in the book sound fresh and new. I honestly don’t understand why he’s not a movie star right now… in 10 years time, maybe. For now, he’ll have to settle for a CatDoggy.

Outstanding Supporting Actress

• Kaitlin Olson – It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
• Busy Phillips – Cougar Town
• Aubrey Plaza – Parks and Recreation
• Melissa Rauch – The Big Bang Theory
• Naya Rivera – Glee
• Sofia Vergara – Modern Family

Honourable mentions (in descending order): Heather Morris – Glee | Mayim Bialik – The Big Bang Theory | Ellie Kemper – The Office | Christa Miller – Cougar Town | Merritt Weaver – Nurse Jackie

Like Ron F’ing Swanson, it kills me not to have Brittany S. Pierce on this shortlist. And while the supporting men was the hardest category to whittle down, these ladies provide the largest quotient of quality in any category (comedy or drama). Olson is the unsung hero of Sunny: her ability to not only keep up but surpass the creators in levels of depravity is a marvel. Plus, she does a kickass ostrich impression. Phillips and Plaza have equally hard jobs in polar opposites (relentless optimism and pessimism, respectively), but they manage to make their characters feel real when they could easily feel like caricatures. Rauch is BBT‘s secret weapon, and the only actor who manages to transcend the often clunky style of comedy that seems to be its bread-and-butter. She has her own rhythms that gel and clash with the rest of the cast in such a funny way. And Vergara… well, part of the reason she’s here is because of her accent and rack, but it takes a really good actress to make a real character out of an accent and rack. Rivera wins this because she’s the heart and soul of the part of Glee that I still like – the one that’s fading slowly, slowly away. She can make you laugh and cry, often in the same scene.

Outstanding Series

• 30 Rock
• Community
• Cougar Town
• It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
• Louie
• Parks and Recreation

I’ll keep this short. All of the nominated shows are really good in their own different ways, but none come close to the experimentation, the looseness, the vitality, the transcendence and, yes, the pop-culture references of the best show (not just comedy) currently on television. If you haven’t watched Community, please go out and watch it somehow. You really won’t regret it.